Let’s get a bit personal with this one. For those that follow my Facebook page, you may have noticed I’ve been a been scarce lately. Truth be told I don’t really post too often as it is but honestly I’ve really been slacking for close to a month now. Not because I haven’t been working – just the opposite. I am working. I am shooting. I am getting orders fulfilled and prints delivered. And so far, everything has been on time. For the busy season and considering my circumstances, that’s really amazing.
So where is this going? If you are friends with me personally, you probably already know the news because I’ve been very open about it. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, embarrassed about, or shy to talk about. So let me grab a screenshot of it to make it easiest.
So that’s it in a nutshell. While mentally I am good, I still have some hoops to jump through to be sure everything is cleared and I am back to “normal”. I have been in and out of my Dr’s offices for a number of weeks now for sonograms, blood work, and discussions with my doctors. I was originally supposed to go in for surgery this week but that has been replaced with some medication in an effort to hopefully avoid surgery in the end. Fingers crossed after this week things can go back to normal for myself and my family.
“Emotional whiplash” is what I have dubbed my life for the past month. I’m ready to move on.
What does this mean?
For my awesome clients it means that as of right now, my turnaround is a bit slow. My normal editing time has been replaced with going to and from the Dr’s office. While my typical session turnaround is 2 weeks tops in the busy season, they are riiiight on that 2 week mark for now. I count that as a win with everything that is going on. However if surgery is needed in the end please understand that some reschedules may happen and my turnaround may dip past 2 weeks. I’m doing the best I can one day at a time.
Why post about this?
Many reasons. I debated awhile if I should ever write about this but in the end I think it’s best I do.
1. This is why I do not book moms in their first trimester (yes, they do ask).
2. Going through this gives me a new perspective into what some of my clients have gone through (and others will go through). Being a newborn photographer, unfortunately this happens and sessions have to be cancelled. I never knew the right thing to say (hint: there is no right thing to say). But at least I have some insight into that realm of pregnancy and loss I never had before, for good or for bad, and can offer some words of support and advice as they go along. They now have someone to talk to when they don’t know where else to go. Besides the waiting, feeling alone was the worst part.
3. It explains some of my absence on social media. And why my turnaround time isn’t nearly as fast as it usually is, I’m still on time! I’ll get back to my speedy self before this crazy busy season is finished.
4. “According to the March of Dimes, as many as 50% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage — most often before a woman misses a menstrual period or even knows she is pregnant. About 15% of recognized pregnancies will end in a miscarriage. More than 80% of miscarriages occur within the first three months of pregnancy.” So yeah, maaaany go through this. Its not a taboo thing so let’s not treat it as such.
This is also my own personal why.
In a strange way, what I have just been through is my “why”. A why in business is the reason behind what you do. The drive for your passion. I never wish what I have gone through/am going through on anyone. At the same time it is a tangible reminder of why I do what I do whether I wanted it or not. Besides the love of photography I started my business because I wanted to be able to capture something special for families. Something fleeting and fast, something so special it must be photographed by a professional. For me, that was newborns, kids, and families.
Life is just that, fleeting and fast and special, and it is that important to document. Being able to have a concrete reminder of something that’s so special to your heart is exactly my “why” of being a photographer.
Life is precious.
Life is worth photographing.
In that same understanding this is also why you must get in photographs, too. I know I’m guilty of this since I am usually behind the camera. But this is why during family sessions I always try for some of just mom and dad. You need to be photographed, too! And you need to be photographed for your kids. Photos are a physical representation of yourself, your legacy, long after you are gone. You need to be in photos for your kids. You also need to photograph your kids for your kids. I’m not talking selfies and cellphone photos, either. But real photos that you will treasure and be proud to show off. And something your kids will be proud of long after you’re gone. I’ve always been passionate about that. Going through this makes me even more so.
Get in photos.
Print your photos.
Enjoy them for decades to come.
If you’ve gotten this far, I don’t expect everyone to understand how miscarriage changes, or in an odd way does not change anything. I am putting this out there so you know that if you’re going through this, I totally get where you’re coming from. Especially for my clients that have dealt (or will deal) with this loss, I am here to talk you through anything you’re feeling. This circumstance isn’t fair but you also are not alone.
And to all my amazing clients, thank you for being awesome. You photos are coming, I promise!
Stacy Golden of Golden Photography in based in Lake Zurich IL. Fo more information, please check her website to contact her.
